I ummed and ached about writing this post. I don't really like to share personal information about myself, put up any photos that include people I know or say where I'll be/what I'm doing before I do it.
But I felt like this was an important post that I had to share.
This year has been extremely hard for me. It was just about as emotional, heartbreaking, stressful and frustrating as a year could get. I've labelled it as my mid-life crisis year because of just breaking down emotionally to the point where I cried more tears in a day than I normally would do in a year.
I'm not going to go into details because it really is something that I want to keep to myself. It is also not something that I want to relive. All the bad stuff blew over in September and the last couple of months have been really good considering all the stuff that happened midyear.
I'm a pessimistic optimist by nature. I expect the worse but hope for the best in all situations. I know someone who once tried to commit suicide years ago - and now he is loving life and happily married with twin boys. I always use his story as a way of getting through things because if he can do it, why can't I? I knew the bad stuff would go away and it did. And I really am happy.
This year mainly came down to being lost in life. I took a job I didn't want last year because I needed to pay for an upcoming holiday. I worked my arse off, made the money but I was bullied relentlessly on a daily basis. I quit in early January because of it.
I believe everything happens for a reason and those experiences really made me look at my life in a different way. Although I only took the job for the money, I've spent this year trying to think of what I want out of life. What do I want to do? Where do I want to be? But most importantly - Who do I want to be?
I think we get so caught up in numbers. By the time we reach our 30s, we are told that we are meant to have our lives in order climbing the career ladder and/or raising 2.5 kids. With 30 slowly looming ever so closely, I could not be further from what "30s" should be.
And I have decided that that is okay.
I could not imagine being cooped up in an office all day or swiping snotty noses of my bratty kids. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that - but it is not for me but my life could have so easily gone down that path. I could say that I spent most of the 20s trying to find myself, and as the last year of my 20s are happening now, I am happy to say that I feel pretty damn close. I feel like I am on a path. I have a direction - and it feels amazing!
Here's to 2015! I know you are going to be my year. I truly believe it!
And for my New Years Resolutions:
- Meet Michael Hurst at Oz Comic Con. I've had a crush on him since I was 12. If it doesn't happen this year though, I am confident that it will happen one day in the future.
See Michael Bolton in concert. This has been a dream of mine since I can remember! My Mum had his CDs when I was growing up so I've grown up listening to his music. He is one of my favourite artists and someone I know who is amazing live. When I was in London he was set to perform at the Royal Albert Theatre but I was a couple of days too early to see him. He is touring Australia next year and I'm determined to go.Tickets bought!
- Follow the career path I see myself on. This includes a lot of minor goals that lead to a big goal at the end of it. If there's a path leading up to the top of a mountain, you have to start at the start and climb your way up … unless you have super rice parents and can fly you to the top like so many celebrity careers tend to start lol. And so, I climb.
- And the little things … loose 10 kilos, learn something new every season, drive, road trip, travel overseas etc etc.
See you in 2015! I have a lot of emails to send :) Have fun tonight everybody!